365 Days of Finding My Muchness Again 🌼 New Year’s Resolutions 2025
Incase you were wondering about “muchness,” here you go ^^^
I’m going to try and write this without getting too sappy or sounding too dumb, but over the last several years I have been trying really hard to get my muchness back.
Even though it’s probably not officially a word, I love the term “muchness” as used in the clip above. It really does just describe everything I’m feeling right now in the most succinct way.
It’s a hard thing to describe, really, what my muchness used to be. It was just a feeling—I don’t want to say a confidence, exactly, but also kind of?
Because I’ve put myself on the spot to try and describe it (thanks, me who thought she had this planned out but actually didn’t) I guess my “muchness” in this case was how I used to be completely myself, no matter what anyone else thought. I used to dress over the top and go out in public without a care. I posted what I wanted on social media and the only thing that mattered to me was if I liked it. I was all about the things I cared about, no matter what.
I didn’t overthink my interactions with others. Back then “I’m weird and I don’t make a secret of it, so they shouldn’t be surprised” was such a valid way to overcome my social anxiety that I didn’t feel it the way I do now. I did what I liked.
Then I got sad.
It was something that crept up on me over the course of a particularly rough time. I lost my sense of self, and my anxiety got so bad that I was nearly crushed under the weight of it. Over the last few years I’ve been slowly pulling myself out of that bad place I’d fallen into and I’ve realized that the muchness that once made up who I was was gone.
Well, not gone. Not exactly. Just . . . flickered. The flame might have gone out but the embers were still burning.
I make New Years resolutions every year, even if I probably shouldn’t. Last year’s resolutions were many that depended on factors I couldn’t control, and thus none of them were met. That was the biggest reason I ended the year on such a low, low note. In fact, on New Year’s Eve I was so sad and stressed out that I hadn’t accomplished any of the goals I set the year before that I couldn’t fully enjoy the holiday.
But it also brought with it a moment of clarity.
So this year, my resolutions aren’t going to be ones that depend on others’ and their approvals.
It’s going to be entirely on me.
This year, I’m going to do things that bring my muchness back.
New Year’s Resolutions for 2025
✨ Exercise more, both for my mental and physical health. Exercise helps with anxiety disorders, which I definitely need help with.
✨ Dress however I want, whenever I want. The only exception being in places were I literally can’t, and even then I’ll find little ways to express myself.
✨ Be more consistent and frequent with my blogging. I love it here! This is my little happy place on the internet, and it’s where I feel like I can be more open and more myself. Basically, I’m probably going to end up living here for the foreseeable future. So, get ready for me to be an absolute nuisance and to post a ton on here! And it’s going to be stuff I’m excited about, which has been so far but I also have had ideas for posts that I just haven’t done because I was worried nobody would read it. But this is my website, and I want to be open and transparent with you guys about the stuff I love 💜
✨ Write! I write a lot as-is, but most of last year was spent so busy with school and my other commitments that it kind of fell to the wayside—and I can’t let that happen again! Writing, even just a little bit, makes my brain feel good, like I could take on the entire world with a smile on my face. I’m going to write to get published, obviously, because I’m not stupid and I want my career to flourish—but I also need to write for the sake of writing, and I need to do a lot of it. Soooooo expect a bunch of updates to the writings section of the blog!
✨ Be Myself. It’s that simple and that hard. Especially when you’ve believed for your entire life that you have to be as the chameleon and become whoever the people around you want to be for them to like you, despite having been proven otherwise on multiple occasions.
✨ Believe in Myself More. It probably goes with the one right before this, but I need to trust more in my skills and in my heart. I need to trust that things will be okay as long as I keep doing my best, and not to let the fear in the back of my mind of not being good enough get too loud.
✨ Celebrate Every Victory, Even the Small Ones! I tend to only celebrate the huge accomplishments, and never the smaller every-day ones. I want to change that this year. Something as small as finishing a crochet project deserves a little celebration!
✨ Live My Best Storybook Aesthetic / Fairytale Life. This means gardening, despite the heat. This means trying not to complain (out loud or in my head) as much as I do and searching for the silver lining in every situation (but not practicing toxic positivity. It’s just not being so much of a negative Nelly). It means protecting my own peace, saying “no” and respecting my boundaries. Plus, all the other stuff above kind of works into this one so it might not be worth putting on the list, but we’re here anyway. Also, I’m going to keep making my own candles (and maybe make my own soaps again, but this time figure out how to keep it from hella drying out my skin) I’m going to let myself love cute pastel things as well as dark, spooky things and stop trying to lodge myself firmly into one vibe or the other. Witches are part of fairytales just as much as princesses!
I’m sure there’s more that I’m not thinking of, and more still that don’t really need written down because they kind of go hand-in-hand with the ones already mentioned, but I’m still going to end the post here. If you stuck with me to the end, you’re a real one 💜
With all of this stuff in mind, I’m really excited to get started and try to find my muchness again. I feel like 2025 will be a big year, either in a way that’s super noticeable (like my career really taking off) or in small, every day ways with the completions of these goals. Sometimes the changes don’t have to be huge, world-changing ones to matter, and that’s something I want to really internalize this year.
Do you have any New Year’s Resolutions you’re particularly excited about? I want to hear about it!
For now, I’m going to end the post. I’ll see you next time~! 💜
